The past two days, I have found it difficult to commit myself fully to my job. Emotionally, I have had a large portion of my brain dedicated to worrying about my two oldest, and physically I spent most of my day driving back and forth to the Bay Area. It is hard to be torn between keeping up with committments to clients, and your committment to your most important client of all, your family.
Wednesday, my 19 year old daughter had to go to the San Francisco to consult with her Endocrinologist. For those who haven't ever encountered one of these, they aren't people you want to see. Oh, they are quite nice, that isn't the problem. The problem is, if they want to see you, then you definately have a problem. We thought my daughter's endocrine problem had largely been taken care of when the endocrine surgeon took out her thyroid in July. Well, her following doctor wanted to see her in person to make sure things were going well since the surgery. After her appointment, my daughter called me in hysterics from the parking garage at UCSF to tell me that things aren't going well at all. Turns out, endocrine also has to do with hormonal stuff, and with all my daughters auto-immune crap, that has always been off kilter. It appears as if her immune system attacking her liver, GI system, thyroid... these weren't enough. It has also been attacking her ovaries, causing her to not produce enough estrogen. Big problem.
We have touched on this before... the estrogen thing. However, BC pills (a common way to replace estrogen) can't be used due to her liver disorder. We tried the patch and it made her practically homicidal (umm, that's not good). We kind of backed away and decided to tackle some other physical issues, figured we would get back to the estrogen thing later. Turns out, it is a bigger deal than we imagined. Her immune system may have caused enough damage that she will face infertility... She could try hormone therapy, but we kinda think her assorted specialists will find out reasons why this could be harmful for her. My beautiful red head, who truly believes that it is every red head's duty to try and save the red headed genetic strain, is basically being told she shouldn't have children. The risks to her health, the difficulties she would face getting pregnant, and the unknowns about whether her various autoimmune disorders would be passed down to her children are all big red flags.
Needless to say, I have been an emotional wreck since we got the call Tuesday asking her to come in. I do not know how to comfort her. I am like fertile myrtle, and have been so easily blessed with four wonderful children. What do I say to this young woman who wants to someday have a family, to be a mommy to little red headed babies... Selfishly, this is what I want to... I want those little carrot top kids running around. I try to think that maybe it still will be... Maybe we are being premature in our doom and gloom. My daughter is being the mature one, thinking how unfair it would be to have a child have to go through health issues like her... Already, she is hitting up her best friend for egg donation... Looks like I may have to start fundraising, because I am sure her insurance isn't going to call invitro-fertilization a medical necessity.
Aside from that, today, well yesterday if you consider I am writing this at 12:30 am on Friday... On Thursday, I woke up, emailed a couple clients, worked on a client's web page for about an hour, and then drove my son to see the orthopedic surgeon. I need to just put a SHOUT OUT to Dr. Ma and the Orthopedic Surgery center at UCSF. They are great professionals to work with. My son is scheduled in just 3 weeks to have surgery to take some screws out of his femur, they are doing it as an outpatient surgery, and agreed to do the pre-op consult over the phone! That saves so much time, since pre-op usually has to be done at the hospital or clinic a day or two before. While preparing to go to the appointment today, I packed my notebook planning to try and write on some articles I need to send to a client. Didn't happen. Troll Baby needed to tag along today, and it is just impossible to write when you have a toddler trying to roam the waiting room of a clinic filled with fragile people on crutches, in wheelchairs, using canes, wearing braces and generally at great risk of incurring damage from an underfoot child.
So, today was a bust as far as work is concerned. Tomorrow should be much better. I get paid for my Boosters layout, all the kids will be at school for several hours (not counting Troll Baby - but maybe I can bribe her with Little Bear and Yo Gabba Gabba), and I should be able to concentrate better on work knowing that the best professionals I know are concentrating on fixing my kids.
